The Begining.

A friend of mine suggested to me lastnight (10/17/08) that I start a blog. Since I want to be a writer, it seemed like a good idea. I figured this could serve as an outlet that will allow me to express myself and release some unwanted tension. I've been through a lot this past year and I've discovered I have more things to say than I thought. It's time I let it out. Who knows, maybe even a few of those skeletons will come out of the closet with it. Maybe some I never even knew I had.
Some of my friends know my situation. Others know it, but not in detail. One thing I've learned about myself is that it's not easy for me to be completely open and honest about the things that I have to deal with. Even with a friend I've known for years, that I know I could say anything to. I've had to ask myself a few times, "Why is that ?"
I think there is a small part of me that is afraid of judgement. That someone will see I don't have it all figured out like I tend to think I do. There's also the realization that if I do speak up, those problems have now become real and I've also learned this past year that denial is a very comfortable place. But even so, I can't forget what this year has taught me and all the things I've learned about my family. Things that I never even knew existed, let alone where problems.
If anyone does choose to read this, may you take it for what it's worth. This is purely for my benefit. However, I can't deny that there's a part of me that hopes I can inspire someone in the process. That my words can be your strength, my emotions can be your enlightenment, my struggles can become your testament that you are stronger than you think.
My one true goal in life has always been to be able to affect someones life in a positive way. The way my life has been affected and influenced my so many of my friends.
To my friends: I would be lost without.